Yelp Is My Best Friend...

In the few months that I've been traveling, I've discovered the brilliance of Yelp.com.   Some people may have eating at every Applebee's in America on their bucket list, but I'm not one of them.  I've had the app for a couple of years now, but I hardly ever used it until I became a professional nomad.  One of my goals for life on the road is to avoid chains as much as possible. These days, it's rare for me to go a whole day without using it.  In fact, reading Yelp reviews of different restaurants has become one of my favorite hobbies.  Some of the things that people fixate on in their restaurant reviews are hilarious.

I always enjoy the ones along the lines of, "The food was good and the service was ok, but our waiter's hair was terrible and it really ruined our dining experience.  Not sure if we'll be able to come back now."  Really?  You're not going to go back to a restaurant because you didn't like your waiter's hair?  I hate to think of how much repeat business I cost Red Robin when I worked there because let's just say that my hair has never been known to cooperate with anything or anyone.

Another fun game that I've come to love is called Guess Which Reviews Were Written By The Restaurant Owners.  You can always tell.  They're just a little too perfect.  These automatically  make me suspicious.

However, my favorite type of review is written by a Yelper who thinks that they're a professional restaurant critic.  These often unintentionally hilarious reviews are a constant source of amusement.  This one by David V. is by far my favorite:

I am a coney lover in the Flint tradition. That said, I love all coney places and have a new resolution to visit (and yelp!) every one in Michigan I can find. This is my first stop on that journey. 
The decor and ambiance is perfect. Prints of Elvis and Marilyn Monroe hanging slightly skewed on the wall along with newspaper clipping and about Jackson Coney and Jackson history.  Tables and countertops are shiny stainless steel - very cool! 
The service was quick and friendly!
Ordered the usual (two with everything) and was not disappointed. Buns were nicely steamed. Dogs were not natural casing and lacked that 'snap', but tasted fine. Meat sauce has a little less paprika than I'm used to, but it was good too. Onions were finely cut and very sweet. THIS IS A TRUE CONEY.
Overall, this place is everything you'd expect and I loved it!

I was in Jackson last week with co-workers from southern Ohio (which, for those who are unaware, means that they are Skyline cinnamon chili fans) and I was trying to explain to them what a real coney was supposed to taste like.  We were Yelping coneys in Jackson to find a place for lunch when I came across this beauty. After reading it aloud to my co-workers, one of them asked, "So is that where we're going for lunch?"  I responded, "How can we afford not to?"  I mean really.  With a review like that, how can you not go check the place out yourself?

In reality, the decor that was rated so highly only consisted of a couple of stock framed lithos of Elvis and Marilyn.  The tabletops were indeed shiny stainless steel though.  The coneys were pretty terrible.  The "chili" was really just a pile of ground beef on top of my hot dog (which, as David V. pointed out, did indeed lack that "snap").  If I can eat it with a fork, it's not chili.  I can't comment on the level of paprika because in my life I've never actually figured out what paprika is supposed to taste like.  I'm really not convinced that it has any flavor at all, but then again I'm not a professional restaurant reviewer.  The onions on my co-workers' coneys were definitely as finely cut as noted in the review.  That was definitely the most impressive part about Jackson Coney.

Luckily, we continued our coney quest the following day at another coney found on Yelp and their chili was much, much better.  For starters, it actually had the consistency of coney chili.  (For readers not from Michigan, that basically means pureed meat sauce, but we try not to dwell on that too much.)  Hopefully next week in East Lansing yields better results.

Life on the Road...

I moved away from home to start a new job in Ohio five months ago.  Things are going well, and I'm finally starting to get to the point where I feel like I know what I'm doing most of the time.  I travel pretty much every week to random locations all over the place, and so far I'm loving it.  Truth be told, I look forward to my weekends ending because driving/flying somewhere new and unexplored is a lot more interesting than sitting around my empty apartment by myself all day, even if I have to go to work.

I make a point to go out in the evenings when I'm done with work and see cool stuff or at least try local restaurants because 1) I think it would be a waste of an opportunity to not do that and 2) I know I'd get burnt out on the travel really quickly if I just sat around in a hotel room watching tv every night.

I've gotten to do some pretty fun stuff so far and I've tried some ridiculous food along the way.  Grilled peanut butter bacon sandwich, anyone?  I figure that since I'm out on the road, I might as well chronicle my various wanderings.  I started keeping a travel journal again, but I've quickly realized that writing every night is hard to maintain.  And also that 80% of what I wrote was about the food I'd eaten during the day.  Hopefully reviving this blog will yield better results.

So far I've learned a lot of travel tips and tricks.  Here's a sample:

• If you find yourself attempting to eat leftovers in a hotel room with no silverware, the plastic cups they give you in the bathroom can be cracked into strips that can be used as a mini shovel to transport your stir fry to your mouth.
• Next time, try tossing a plastic fork in your suitcase.
• The Philly airport is terrible.
• There are no airports in Delaware.
• Farmers in Delaware sometimes buy used school buses and cut their tops off so that they can fill them with watermelons.  (Not a travel tip per se, but definitely worth knowing.)
• Holiday Inns give goodie bags to rewards club members.
• Every once in a while, it might be a good idea to figure out how your fleet/rental car's cruise control, windshield wipers, and radio work BEFORE you get on the highway.
• Yelp can be your best friend in a new city.
• Sometimes, you'll find yourself in a little diner where old people are playing a keyboard and singing terrible songs karaoke style.  Go with it.  Just appreciate the moment.
• Don't be afraid to jog through an airport while shoveling food in your mouth if you're trying to make a connection.  It's probably the most efficient way of burning off those calories.
• Just about every city, no matter how boring, has something worth exploring/trying.  Find it.  I suggest using the internet.  It's pretty helpful sometimes.
• If someone is judging you for eating dinner alone in a restaurant, feel free to judge them right back.  They started it.

One of these days, I'll get around to posting some pictures.  

Sharpie Plate

The baking sharpie on cheap mugs idea has been all over Pinterest, so when I needed a cheap gift for a White Elephant exchange, I decided to give it a shot.  I picked up a plain white square plate at a local Dollar Store and found a stash of colored Sharpies in my cupboard at home.  Actually, it turns out that they weren't Sharpies--they were Bic permanent markers, which I wasn't even aware existed.  I also bought a foam dinosaur hat to include with the gift, but that's not really related to this.

Everyone involved in the gift exchange is a U of M alumni (Go Blue!), so I thought that would make a perfect theme for the plate.  Especially since I can't draw or do anything remotely artistic.  I was pretty much limited to words, which was a challenge in and of itself because my handwriting is certifiably horrible.

I started by trying to freehand draw the block M logo.  It didn't work out so well.  Like I said above: I can't draw to save my life.  Instead, I traced off of my laptop screen onto a piece of paper and cut it out.  You can see my little stencil in the picture below.  I then traced it into the center of the plate in blue and squiggled it in with yellow.

Sometimes when you're writing the same thing (with two very similar parts) over and over again and are surrounded by noisy people, you get distracted and accidentally write the wrong verse.  Instead of having a panic attack, just get some rubbing alcohol and a Q-tip and it will erase like magic.  Probably.  I learned while making another project that this doesn't work quite as well with some Sharpie colors.  Moral of the story: try not to mess up.

I copied the fight song many, many times onto the plate.  As luck would have it (I promise you that it was through no planning or skill), I had exactly the right amount of room to finish a whole verse neatly at the bottom.  Yay!  It's also worth noting that the writing at the top is much thinner than the writing at the bottom because the marker I was using was brand new and its tip got gradually smashed down as I wrote.  It gives it a kind of cool effect that I rather like.

All that was left was to bake it for 30 minutes at 350.  It looked pretty good when I took it out of the oven, so hopefully the marker stays permanent.  I kind of didn't want to give it away, but I managed to part with it. PS. Our oven doesn't usually look that gross, but we had just done an auto clean cycle and hadn't bothered to clean up the ashes.  Oops.

Peppermint Brownie Trifle

My mom needed to bring a dessert for a Christmas party at the job she just started.  Since I've had great success using my baking skills to buy friends at work, I volunteered to whip up a Christmas-y concoction.

First, I baked baked two batches of brownies.  I accidentally bought the cheap value mix that is only supposed to make an 8x8 pan, but I just spread it out really thin and made it take up a whole 13x9 pan.  This was only the first of several errors that could have potentially ruined things, but I managed to make them work somehow.  Once they were cool, I cut them up into bite sized pieces.

Then I made some pudding Cool Whip stuff.  It's supposed to be a semi-lite frosting recipe, but it always comes out too goopy to actually frost things with.  However, it makes fantastic trifle filling.  I intended to make this with a box of peppermint instant pudding that I could've sworn that I bought, but apparently I didn't.  I made another trip to Meijer only to discover that they were sold out of the pudding.  What a waste.  Instead, I improvised.  I used vanilla pudding and added red food coloring and peppermint extract.  It ended up working out quite nicely.

Then I whipped up another batch of the pudding Cool Whip stuff, but I only added green food coloring to this one.  I was afraid that too much peppermint would make it crazy since I'd also added some to the brownie batter.

Then I chopped up some Oreos.  The red ones are just regular winter ones.  The green ones are mint flavored.

My mom picked out a pretty glass bowl and I started layering things.  First I put a layer of brownies on the bottom.  Next, I spread some of the green pudding.  I added some more brownies and some red peppermint pudding.  In the middle, I added a layer of mint Oreo bits.  I kept layering until I ran out of stuff.

On the top, I sprinkled the rest of the chopped Oreos for a pretty red and green topping.

A side view.  It was so tasty.  I know I say that about everything I make, but this was crazy good.  Some of my mom's co-workers demanded the recipe.  I made a similar trifle in the fall using pumpkin spice pudding and spice cake, so you can use whatever flavor combinations make you happy.  Here's the peppermint brownie recipe:


2 packages brownie mix, cooked according to the directions on the box (or you can use any kind of cake mix)
2 4-serving packages of instant vanilla pudding (or whatever flavor you want the frosting to be)
1/4 cup peppermint flavored creamer
1/2 tsp peppermint extract
1 3/4 cup milk, divided
16 oz. Cool Whip, divided
8 oz. cream cheese, softened and divided
2/3 cup powdered sugar, divided
red food coloring
green food coloring
12 mint Oreos
4 red Winter Oreos
1.  Cut the brownies up into small squares.
2.  In a large mixing bowl, blend 4 oz. cream cheese and 1/3 cup powdered sugar together.  Add one package of pudding mix.  Stir in the peppermint creamer, peppermint extract, and 3/4 cup milk until the pudding mix is dissolved.  Add red food coloring and blend with the mixer on low until it starts to thicken.  Fold in 8 oz. of the Cool Whip.  Set aside.
3.  Mix remaining cream cheese and powdered sugar.  Add the second package of pudding mix.  Stir in one cup of milk until the pudding mix is dissolved.  Add green food coloring and blend with the mixer on low until it starts to thicken.  Fold in remaining 8 oz. Cool Whip.
4.  Chop Oreos and place into separate bowls.
5.  Place a layer of brownie pieces on the bottom of a large bowl.  Cover with a thin layer of the green pudding mixture.
6.  Place another layer of brownie pieces on top of the pudding and cover with a layer of the red pudding mixture.  Sprinkle some of the mint Oreo pieces on top.
7.  Continue layering until all of the brownies have been used.  Make sure there is enough pudding to completely cover the top of the trifle.  Sprinkle with red Oreo pieces and remaining mint ones.
8.  Chill for at least 2 hours before serving.

Upcycled Cardigan

The ugly Walmart sweater that I cut up into a skirt in the previous post had a red twin.  It just so happened that I had some scraps of red satin-y fabric from another project that I recently finished, so I decided that I would turn the ugly sweater into a cute cardigan with shiny lining along the inside flaps.

I started by cutting straight down the center of the front of the sweater.  I can't promise that the cut was completely straight because I just free-handed it from the point in the v-neck, but I did the best that I could.  I figure nobody will really notice if it's a little off anyway.

Then I cut out two long, narrow pieces of the red satin-y fabric, one for each side of the center of the cardigan.  I pinned them, right sides together, to the front of the cardigan and sewed.

Then I ironed the edges down to hide the hem and sewed another seam along the inside of the satin lining.

And this was the result.  I didn't add any buttons or closures because I didn't feel like dealing with any of that.  The best part is that now that I have the method down, I have an even cooler cardigan project in the works.

Sweater Skirt Take Two

Actually, the title of this post is a lie.  I made this sweater skirt first.  I just liked the second version a whole lot better.  Plus, this one ended up a lot shorter because it came from a women's v-neck, so I can't really wear it to work.

I started out with this ugly, kind of gross sweater I bought on clearance at Walmart a few years ago.  I was getting rid of it (and its red twin that got chopped up for another project) because it's too big for me now.

I traced out the sides of the skirt and then cut them out.  Just like on the other sweater skirt.  Then I sewed everything together and made a waistband.  Simple as pie.

More plaid flannel!  Yay.  Apparently I'm going through a phase.

Last weekend, I had to help out at a Santa breakfast at the school my  mom used to teach at.  The skirt made a perfect addition to my elf costume.  I literally have no dignity in my life.

Disney Ornament Upgrade

While I was working at Disney last year, I came into possession of a cute little Minnie and Mickey ornament.  I love Christmas ornaments and I love Disney stuff, so it was pretty perfect.

The only problem was that the back of it said "2009 Passholder."  Since I clearly was not an annual passholder in 2009, it seemed kind of silly to hang it on the tree like that.  However, all was not lost, because with my trusty bottle of Mod Podge and a compass, I was able to personalize the back of the ornament in such a way that the passholder part was covered up.

Don't let that orange compass fool you.  It's actually completely horrible and borderline useless.  Still, I persevered and got it to draw a circle.  It took me a few tries to get it right because the compass kept moving, but eventually I got a usable round template for the picture.

Then I dug through my file of hundreds of pictures of my family's visit to Disney World last Christmas in search of the perfect Christmas Castle picture.  I didn't find one.  It seems that all of our Castle pictures were taken at night in poor lighting conditions.  After all these years, we really should know better than that.  Anyway, after narrowing it down to a few options, my mom and I selected this one because it seemed the most likely to fit my purposes.  Then all I had to do was figure out how to make the printer do what I wanted, which required a couple of tries.  I figured it out eventually, and used the template I'd cut out to trace a circle around the good part of the picture.

Then I cut it out and glued it to the center of the ornament with Mod Podge.  I set a thermos lid on it and stacked a travel mug on top in order to make it as flat as possible and left it to dry for a couple of hours.  When it had completely dried, I painted the back of the ornament with another coat of Mod Podge to seal the picture in.  I did one more coat and decided that it was secure enough to go on the tree.  This is what the back looks like now.  It's currently our only ornament because we put the lights on the tree and decided to wait for Jeff to come home from MSU before finishing decorating.  So now we have a mostly naked Christmas tree sitting in the family room.  At least it has this one ornament.